Repressed memories are a common theme in stories featuring clinical psychology. Because so and so hid his past from him or herself they have trouble adapting to the present day. The answer was there all along, they just had no means to access it until it is finally revealed to them. Once they find the darkness in their past, they learn to face it, crash down hard, and come back better on the other side.
In the Chinese language, the phrase used to convey happiness is constructed of two words, 'open heart'. I'm not exactly sure the origins of this term, but having an open heart is what opens the door to happiness.
Repression is one of those obstacles in reaching an open heart. By concealing parts of your own history it creates an incomplete self. It may appear to be more like your ideal self, yet in reality all it turns out to be is an illusion, a façade. Much like the appearances of a celebrity can appear ideal, the many complications and stresses of a public life are hidden from view, at least until the paparazzi get to them. Then stories of divorce, drug abuse, sexual abuse and so forth come pouring from the shadows.
People who cannot handle a lot of stress may use repression as a technique to protect themselves from trauma or chronic stress. For those who can, they may utilize a different psychological tactic, evasion. Attention deficit disorder can be summed up as the inability to focus attention on a concentrated task for very long. One analogy is like traffic without signs or traffic lights. Thoughts travel from one to the next without any control of which one is taking the lead. There is never enough time to focus one part of yourself long enough to get to know it very well. Feelings of anxiety or sadness or anger and even joy will be fleeting. It will feel real for the short moment it is there and then disappear by the next fragment of thought that drives by. Happiness, in this case, cannot be found because it isn't around for very long.
With ADD the choice to evade isn't really there. The brain is underdeveloped and lacks the capacity to harness its control mechanisms, it can't control the traffic. Another means of evasion is stress addiction. Workaholics tend to be very focused, unlike people with ADD, and are capable of building up a strong identity and can forge an impressive career. Where they lack in control is their ability to slow down. They are polar opposites to ADD in that they are hyperfocused. All they can do is their work. They feed off of pressure, they feed off of their drive, and their work is the central part of their identity. When provided with time away from work all that remains is an empty vessel. People addicted to stress constantly seek it within their external environment. All their focus is on the outer world that the inner world becomes ignored. They feel uneasy when they are forced to be with themselves because it is someone they do not recognized, it is someone they are not acquainted with. A stranger in their own mind.
Having an open heart means having an open mind. One needs to acknowledge their own self to the fullest capacity. The inside, the outside, the strengths and weaknesses. Everything from the future plans to the long history that has lead to the present, one needs to know themselves and love themselves unconditionally. It may seem overly ideal at times, but it is something I believed can be achieved as long as the right conditions are in place. Sometimes we need to change our own situation to find those conditions, and at other times we need to change ourselves to fit our situation. But whatever the situation is we need to keep an open heart.
2.24.2013
2.20.2013
Swimming in Open Waters, or how to learn to be yourself isn't easy
I have spent the past five years exploring different fields. I started my journey pushing graphic design and trying to get into web design. At the same time I developed my musical skills and learned to record. I was absolutely convinced that I had the talent and drive to make it work. Later I started to shoot music videos as I continued to improve my music production skills. I even mustered up the courage to do a few open mics to get over my stage fright. Eventually I took up writing when I started working in a book store. Even got as far as completing a novel and wrote two-thirds of a second one. I took a pause to wait for my real life experience to catch up to my character. Now I start playing with photography and film while still continuing to perfect my music quality.
After all of these endeavours I hit a block. I began to understand what it really meant to become a successful artist. It requires far more than determination, talent, or even luck. It required a whole set of skills I never could conquer and likely never will, at least not any time soon. It was the skill of self promotion. Marketing. Even though I spent these five convoluted years working in retail to fund my pursuits, sales was something that I never really took pride in. In fact, it was something I wanted to avoid if it wasn't a necessary part of my job. Trying to convince someone, persuade them into wanting something that they may not even need or will use to its fullest capacity was always against my nature.
Throughout my university training in psychology and philosophy, I had learned to believe that the best means of creating change in a person is allowing them to discover their potential from within. That is the only time when true transformations happen. The process of external coercion was morally conflicting.
My extended education from reading books ranging from economics to religion, to neuroscience, culture, and, of course, psychology and philosophy had taught me that the proper way to nourish someone's potential is to guide them towards its realisation. It cannot be forced. It must come from within, and in order to do so we must learn to guide ourselves, to explore, to fail, and ultimately to reach a revelation. It isn't an easy process. It takes time, and how much time is impossible to predict. But one other important lesson I have learned is that you cannot do it on your own.
This is the paradox of self-discovery. We require support, affirmation, and endless mounds of feedback from acquaintances and strangers alike. For the lucky ones, they are provided a safe environment to explore knowing that there will be loving support at home. Loving and capable parents are a source of guidance, as well as a security net. They will provided you comfort in the face of failure, and they will celebrate with you for every win. Without this foundation we are kicked in to the water prematurely fully expected to tread in the open. How can one learn to swim when they can barely keep their head above water? Furthermore, how can one teach others to swim when they haven't had the chance to learn themselves?
This cycle is a dangerous one and it has penetrated deep into the history of humanity. People forced outside of their development early have children and quickly transfer their lack of experience unconsciously. They fully believe their offspring will develop far beyond their capacity despite not fully understanding what that entails. Many believe that a formal education, a good job, and a fluffy salary is all that there is when the truth lies much deeper than that. It lays dormant within the soul where a child is forced to inhabit the body, expectations and responsibilities of an adult.
Having swam circles in the open water I have come back to where I left off. I know now that my initial intuition about where I wanted to belong was right the whole time, in psychology and philosophy.
I was underdeveloped. My parents didn't have the opportunity to advance their own development, so it left me searching for what that meant on my own. This entire operation, skipping from one interest to the next, was a tireless search for something that was there in the beginning. The only thing I needed was to reaffirm it through experimenting with everything else I never has the opportunity to try in the comfort of home. These hobbies were, are, and will be a part of me always, but the core of this process was the exploration itself. What I really enjoyed was the search. And now that that search is (hopefully) over I want to turn it into a career.
What drew me to psychology in the first place was the drive to understand the human condition. What makes up a person was interesting, and now with the experience I have had I have a better understanding of how a person becomes made up of anything. I want to continue to pursue how people become themselves, how their experiences make up who they are and how they will take them to who they will be.
I was lucky enough at the beginning of all of this to have found a partner who supported my search. Throughout these five years we helped one another figure ourselves out. She taught me how to swim, literally and metaphorically. We held each others hands when we broke down and kept one another afloat. Now that we have learned to be ourselves and see what we have become it is time to look forward and see where we are going. It is time to find solid ground.
After all of these endeavours I hit a block. I began to understand what it really meant to become a successful artist. It requires far more than determination, talent, or even luck. It required a whole set of skills I never could conquer and likely never will, at least not any time soon. It was the skill of self promotion. Marketing. Even though I spent these five convoluted years working in retail to fund my pursuits, sales was something that I never really took pride in. In fact, it was something I wanted to avoid if it wasn't a necessary part of my job. Trying to convince someone, persuade them into wanting something that they may not even need or will use to its fullest capacity was always against my nature.
Throughout my university training in psychology and philosophy, I had learned to believe that the best means of creating change in a person is allowing them to discover their potential from within. That is the only time when true transformations happen. The process of external coercion was morally conflicting.
My extended education from reading books ranging from economics to religion, to neuroscience, culture, and, of course, psychology and philosophy had taught me that the proper way to nourish someone's potential is to guide them towards its realisation. It cannot be forced. It must come from within, and in order to do so we must learn to guide ourselves, to explore, to fail, and ultimately to reach a revelation. It isn't an easy process. It takes time, and how much time is impossible to predict. But one other important lesson I have learned is that you cannot do it on your own.
This is the paradox of self-discovery. We require support, affirmation, and endless mounds of feedback from acquaintances and strangers alike. For the lucky ones, they are provided a safe environment to explore knowing that there will be loving support at home. Loving and capable parents are a source of guidance, as well as a security net. They will provided you comfort in the face of failure, and they will celebrate with you for every win. Without this foundation we are kicked in to the water prematurely fully expected to tread in the open. How can one learn to swim when they can barely keep their head above water? Furthermore, how can one teach others to swim when they haven't had the chance to learn themselves?
This cycle is a dangerous one and it has penetrated deep into the history of humanity. People forced outside of their development early have children and quickly transfer their lack of experience unconsciously. They fully believe their offspring will develop far beyond their capacity despite not fully understanding what that entails. Many believe that a formal education, a good job, and a fluffy salary is all that there is when the truth lies much deeper than that. It lays dormant within the soul where a child is forced to inhabit the body, expectations and responsibilities of an adult.
Having swam circles in the open water I have come back to where I left off. I know now that my initial intuition about where I wanted to belong was right the whole time, in psychology and philosophy.
I was underdeveloped. My parents didn't have the opportunity to advance their own development, so it left me searching for what that meant on my own. This entire operation, skipping from one interest to the next, was a tireless search for something that was there in the beginning. The only thing I needed was to reaffirm it through experimenting with everything else I never has the opportunity to try in the comfort of home. These hobbies were, are, and will be a part of me always, but the core of this process was the exploration itself. What I really enjoyed was the search. And now that that search is (hopefully) over I want to turn it into a career.
What drew me to psychology in the first place was the drive to understand the human condition. What makes up a person was interesting, and now with the experience I have had I have a better understanding of how a person becomes made up of anything. I want to continue to pursue how people become themselves, how their experiences make up who they are and how they will take them to who they will be.
I was lucky enough at the beginning of all of this to have found a partner who supported my search. Throughout these five years we helped one another figure ourselves out. She taught me how to swim, literally and metaphorically. We held each others hands when we broke down and kept one another afloat. Now that we have learned to be ourselves and see what we have become it is time to look forward and see where we are going. It is time to find solid ground.
2.16.2013
That Violent Nudge
School shootings, violent videogames, action packed movies, gun control. The cycle goes on. Something bad happens and people will find something to blame. It has to be something direct, something concrete or else you can point a finger at it.
What if I was to tell you that violent outbursts and mental breaks were not contributed by any one singular source? What if it was due to a complex interaction between various societal, psychological and biological factors? What would people think then?
PSSSHHHHTTHTTTT!!! Yeah right...
There is a constant back and forth debate on what contributes to violence. It happens all the time. From little things like sibling rivalry, to marital abuse, school yard bullying, cyberbullying, all the way up to homicides torture and massacres. People feel angry they lash out at the nearest thing. Or they just might be crazy. Something isn't right with them. It has nothing to do with me, because obviously how could I be involved with something that isn't right in front of me.
The truth is, whenever one of these incidences happen everyone is guilty. The only difference is who is more guilty than who. A child who decides to shoot up a school didn't decide that on his own. Most decisions people make are not of their own. People watch what they are shown, they eat what they are given, they complete the work they are assigned. That child was simply nudged in that direction often enough that he thinks that is his only choice. The parents are guilty for not giving him the right attention. His peers are guilty for neglecting or harassing him. His teachers are guilty for not paying more attention to his need for help. The store is guilty for making guns so easy to purchase. The culture is guilty for placing those guns into to stores. The only thing the shooter is guilty for is bringing the gun and pulling the trigger.
Every time one of these tragedies happen everyone is punished for the crime. We have to hear about it in the news. Policies have to change and debates rage on. The families and friends of the victims and the offender is deeply hurt. The entire community will be more on edge due to the lingering fear. Yet once the tides die down and things are quiet again we once again forget that we were once guilty. So again we nudge, again we put the pieces in place. And eventually it happens again. Someone snaps, we point fingers, and we all suffer once again.
What if I was to tell you that violent outbursts and mental breaks were not contributed by any one singular source? What if it was due to a complex interaction between various societal, psychological and biological factors? What would people think then?
PSSSHHHHTTHTTTT!!! Yeah right...
There is a constant back and forth debate on what contributes to violence. It happens all the time. From little things like sibling rivalry, to marital abuse, school yard bullying, cyberbullying, all the way up to homicides torture and massacres. People feel angry they lash out at the nearest thing. Or they just might be crazy. Something isn't right with them. It has nothing to do with me, because obviously how could I be involved with something that isn't right in front of me.
The truth is, whenever one of these incidences happen everyone is guilty. The only difference is who is more guilty than who. A child who decides to shoot up a school didn't decide that on his own. Most decisions people make are not of their own. People watch what they are shown, they eat what they are given, they complete the work they are assigned. That child was simply nudged in that direction often enough that he thinks that is his only choice. The parents are guilty for not giving him the right attention. His peers are guilty for neglecting or harassing him. His teachers are guilty for not paying more attention to his need for help. The store is guilty for making guns so easy to purchase. The culture is guilty for placing those guns into to stores. The only thing the shooter is guilty for is bringing the gun and pulling the trigger.
Every time one of these tragedies happen everyone is punished for the crime. We have to hear about it in the news. Policies have to change and debates rage on. The families and friends of the victims and the offender is deeply hurt. The entire community will be more on edge due to the lingering fear. Yet once the tides die down and things are quiet again we once again forget that we were once guilty. So again we nudge, again we put the pieces in place. And eventually it happens again. Someone snaps, we point fingers, and we all suffer once again.
2.12.2013
Shaping Reality
Recently at the DICE summit Gabe Newell and JJ Abrams discussed the idea of storytelling through their respective mediums of videogames and movies. They hammered at one another for the lack of direction in games, and the lack of exploration in film. Abrams didn't believe that players could concentrate on the story at hand when the protagonist is just an empty shell and mindless observer, or when players could simply distract themselves by looking in the wrong places. While Newell criticized films for its absence of agency which allows the player to be immersed within the story itself. The audience has no input within a film.
Storytelling is a tricky business, and both of these major players agree that the most important part is having people care about the characters. That way they will feel like a part of that world, that the story feels in some sense real. This is an odd notion if you really think about it.
Both the world of games and film spend massive budgets trying to create alternate universes for people to submerge themselves into for hours at a time. The extensive details of certain worlds are so pervasive that they manage to extend well beyond the medium itself. The fictional universe starts to blend in with the real one. People create Portal Xmas trees, speak in Klingon, or identify with the Force within. Some would rather live as their fictional avatars than as their real self. It starts to reshape their reality.
Now at this point people would argue that being immersed within these alternate realities can be dangerous. With people having died from over commitment to their gaming I can see why that is, yet there is something protective about the ability to escape. In my personal opinion I feel very few people really see the real reality. Very few understand why we work, why the political and financial systems work the way they do, or how the human mind and body functions. Not many can see all the complexities and the exponentially expansive richness that the real world has over fictional worlds. But would they want to?
The real world can be so complex, so challenging, and so daunting that to understand the entire scope of the human world may bring people to their knees. Ignorance can be bliss. Many would rather stay within the Matrix than leave into this horribly complicated and often bleak reality. Those who were considered geniuses often were also crazy. It was probably the weight of the true reality that drove them mad.
Gabe and JJ both announced at the end of their discussion that there may be collaborative efforts between Bad Robot and Valve to make films based on games and games based on films. They will continue to build miniature worlds to keep the world sane. It is a brave and noble mission that buys time for those who see reality to sort things out and maybe make it a little more inviting.
Storytelling is a tricky business, and both of these major players agree that the most important part is having people care about the characters. That way they will feel like a part of that world, that the story feels in some sense real. This is an odd notion if you really think about it.
Both the world of games and film spend massive budgets trying to create alternate universes for people to submerge themselves into for hours at a time. The extensive details of certain worlds are so pervasive that they manage to extend well beyond the medium itself. The fictional universe starts to blend in with the real one. People create Portal Xmas trees, speak in Klingon, or identify with the Force within. Some would rather live as their fictional avatars than as their real self. It starts to reshape their reality.
Now at this point people would argue that being immersed within these alternate realities can be dangerous. With people having died from over commitment to their gaming I can see why that is, yet there is something protective about the ability to escape. In my personal opinion I feel very few people really see the real reality. Very few understand why we work, why the political and financial systems work the way they do, or how the human mind and body functions. Not many can see all the complexities and the exponentially expansive richness that the real world has over fictional worlds. But would they want to?
The real world can be so complex, so challenging, and so daunting that to understand the entire scope of the human world may bring people to their knees. Ignorance can be bliss. Many would rather stay within the Matrix than leave into this horribly complicated and often bleak reality. Those who were considered geniuses often were also crazy. It was probably the weight of the true reality that drove them mad.
Gabe and JJ both announced at the end of their discussion that there may be collaborative efforts between Bad Robot and Valve to make films based on games and games based on films. They will continue to build miniature worlds to keep the world sane. It is a brave and noble mission that buys time for those who see reality to sort things out and maybe make it a little more inviting.
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